My Conclusion

by charizardf1 Wed Jun 02, 2021 5:39 pm

Introduction and why I'm here

Hello Novastormchat. It's been a bit since I've spoken to y'all. I've been meaning to continue replying to the other thread but my life's been really busy and didn't have time to really focus on discussing things further so sorry if it seemed like I randomly dipped. Before I knew it two months had passed already. I'm here now because I finally have some decent time to spare due to people catching covid so we're on quarantine for the next couple weeks.

From my focus directed away from everything that transpired it gave me a good opportunity to recover and really think deeply about a lot of things. Now that I'm in a way better mindset I felt that it would be nice to give a more thorough explanation from my perspective of events that lead up to this point. The reason I want to do this is not for any malicious reasonings but to help clarify my end of the spectrum of my journey in Nova. I also want to state that with everything I say I am not directly trying to blame anybody for things. I'm also not here to argue or start/continue any beef so once i post this I will not respond to any hostile or ill comments. Anybody at this point who wishes to further discuss certain matters will have no choice but to speak to me directly person to person if they wish to resolve/clear any further confusion.

Mainly though I am doing this because I feel that if I am to leave the community I should have a more proper sendoff since I am leaving people I've associated with for about a decade.

How it started

When I came into Novastorm I already sort of knew what to expect out of the community based on most of the people I've known/observed from the group of forums before Nova was created. For awhile I felt like I was building good relations with everyone and all we all ever did was focus on Pokemon and whatever games we played. Mado trusted me with moderator due to our mutual respect and history with one another. Aftter some time though things started to get somewhat controversial once other groups like Force and The Skype Crew started associating with Nova.

Due to a lot of malicious antics Force or The Skype Crew had executed people started becoming antsy and suspicious about others. A lot of used to be Nova regulars would leave since they stopped agreeing with how certain people were acting towards certain situations/people and were immediately branded as problematic people because of it which dominos into retaliation further justifying them of what was claimed of them, turning things into a more awkward mess. Even back then Nobody had proper discussions to clear up what could have been an easy resolution if approached more properly. I was suspected on numerous occasions for a lot of actions solely because I spoke with the other groups occasionally. Back then though I was more oblivious to these sorts of things so I always just bounced back to focusing on what I primarily was at chat for.

For some time Nova would be a continuous cycle of chaotic events but regardless of whatever happened the chat would reset back to just being a pokemon chat kinda acting like nothing even happened. Everyone for the most part still enjoyed each other outside of the random regulars who would leave every now and then for what we believed was "for no real reason."

The Time Skip

In 2015 I had joined the military and around the end of that year I had left to train for about a year. After I came back home and returned to Nova I noticed it was drastically different from before. Some of my most favorite people left and a lot of newer people was there. The chat's atmosphere in general was so different. I was very uncomfortable with how things had changed and in turn I started to change my approach in Nova. This was where I basically started my road down a dark path without realizing it. Barely as many people talked about gaming and there were so many weird people saying/doing weird things(I know I was very wrong for thinking like this so don't hound me for it please remember this is the PAST). I was not used to that environment at all and wasn't what I expected upon my return which lead me to be a bit more irritable.

From my time away Nova was still no different in terms of how conflicts arose however as chat began to become more diverse and interests began to split more and more between people, as well as people forming their own circles within the community, it made it harder for people to have something to fall back on. Conflicts would continue to stick and even if a situation was to calm down, it was inevitable that it would be brought back at some point due to it not being resolved. Problems that start small would continue to cycle and grow and branch into more problems. It comes to a point that the people fighting become too confused as to what's going on anymore and just go off of what they think is happening until one side gives in which usually ends in stalemate due to nobody budging.

Upon each situation I've always given my input on things upon my perspective and what I've learnt. When I try to understand more about something however most misinterpret my intentions and think I'm just trying to extend the problem for my own entertainment. Even though there are way better means as to clarify my intent on situations, I still do understand why people would jump to negative conclusions upon my inclusion in conflicts. My personality started a decline ever since I had returned and had only gotten worse as time progressed. I was trapped in so many controversial situations that it was driving me mad and I started to care less and less about how I was effecting others. I would brush off most of my actions by saying "this is how our community is if you don't like it leave" or "just ignore me if you dislike what i say/do it's not hard." While there's some truth to those words it didn't excuse the fact that my intents on a lot of matters have been lowkey malicious and it's understandable why some would be slightly annoyed by my actions.

My aura while in Nova bounced all over the place. One moment I'm a clown, another I'm serious, another I'm kind, and another I'm just being an asshole. At that point I had understood how people could be confused about what my intentions are and how they could misinterpret my words. Still, however, could be easy fixes if simply approached instead of making things worse with theories. Overall though I still mainly blame myself for allowing myself to get so deep in my persona. The main reason as to why I went this direction was due to the collection of events and claims piled on me over the years. Being involved in majority of things and for nothing to get resolved and things always "ending" with some new claim on my name. But again I can somewhat only blame myself for getting myself involved in these situations in the first place even though there are much easier and better ways to clarify these types of issues.

Tam

Compared to everything that has transpired over the years Tam has probably had the most effect on me in Nova. Ever since we first met I kind of already guessed that she would be one of the main strains to my brain. Tam alone had accelerated the decline of my sanity the more situations I've dealt with her. It's weird because I don't necessarily hate her nor do I even feel uncomfortable with her around yet I can't stand whenever she gets into any opposition with anyone. She directly clashes with my pet peeves which is probably the main problem. No matter how much we fought and no matter how much I try to converse and speak with her nothing ever progresses between us. Every time I try I only find myself in a worse position than I was beforehand. The community doesn't help either because, like I said before, people are just quick to believe what's in their thoughts/the more venerable person rather than properly evaluate a situation. I have nothing against Tam, in fact I actually think she can be pretty cool, but naturally we just don't mix and don't think things can ever be good between us.

Recent Events

So now that I have a cooler head on the situation Ima give the full details on what happened and why I have chosen to leave Novastormchat.

Before things had started I had throughout the last year or so already discussed how I haven't been enjoying my time in Nova as a whole to people. It just always seemed like my existence there is just holding tension and it lowkey felt like people didn't want me to be there as well as just look for any type of opening to throw another claim on my head.

During the event of when Spin exposed his relations with Yiffy and such, the atmosphere in Nova took a huge turn for the worse. Just like most others I was shocked at what was going on and wanted to understand more about what the deal was. As soon as Spin took the first action though, some people immediately went after Spin's head claiming he's just trying to cancel and attack Yiffy for his own malicious purposes. Since there was no clear proof to decide what was true at the time, I took a neutral stance on the matter and kept a cool head.

Some people were too furious since Spin had driven Yiffy off of Nova potentially forever and disowned him as a person entirely as the last straw in their books. It was understandable why they would be upset though since Spin could have approached this situation A LOT better than how he did it as well as Yiffy being a very liked regular in the community. Since people were in their feelings though upon Spin's appearance or even the sole mentioning of his name, the chat had started having a really unhealthy atmosphere. Whenever people would get heated I would address how they are getting too riled up and should chill. This would get confused with me siding with Spin's reasonings and actions which lead to people automatically grouping me with him and coming at me as well. I would try to explain how they are wrong numerous times but nobody would listen at all and would continue to hound me.

Talon would also get a similar treatment and would be treated harshly immediately just for giving his own opinion on the matter and I'd defend him since he was not even making a difference in the situation nor was he even being hostile towards anybody. From both offences I would still be continued to be hounded all because I was addressing how their actions are unreasonable and they are provoking and enabling this hostile environment. Everything that they were doing to extend and provoke more problems was yet again flipped over to me since I'm a big opposing figure that is already known to be a clown so of course I'm an easy target to flip the script on.

Things ended up with people in chat putting Spin, Talon, and I in a corner and we was told if we dislike how Nova is then we should leave. Spin actually took that advice and started his own group. He shortly invited Talon and myself eventually. Coincidently around that time I had to do training again to prepare for my upcoming deployment through the month of January. I had little time for myself and couldn't really get on Nova because my phone is always weird with trying to load chatango so I just decided to not even try anymore for the duration. When I got back home people immediately come at me talking about how I'm betraying Nova and insulting me and slandering me saying I fully supported Spin and said I called Yiffy a pedophile and such.

I was of course furious and was reaching my limit at this point. After my month away from Nova and chilling in Luna with actual peace and no tension or fear of my name being thrown under a bus again, it started to become clear to me that I needed to leave for my own good. I begged Spin to create a channel where we could vent at in which he at first refused because he wanted to be done with everything but eventually did so. We all unload saying hurtful things toward the Nova community and sharing how we felt about the situation and certain people. This is when some Novians observed the conversation and reported it back to Nova. All those who wasn't involved as well as didn't even know about the conflict started pitching in their own assessments and jump the boat of what they believe based on just that moment alone instead of gathering the whole entirety of the situation.

That's how it was left off from there.

My Thoughts and Where It Goes From Here

Overall I've come to realize so much from really thinking on my own and staying away as well as looking from the outside. The modern Nova environment is not for me. In fact it stopped being for me as soon as I came back from my training in 2016. How the community is and how they approach/handle situations collides with how I am as a person and the only way for me to reside there is if I don't be myself which is not a healthy thing for me. Not only that I'm pretty sure all the stains I've left in Nova will keep tensions between the community and myself. Even if people refuse and don't say it I'm pretty sure most don't feel comfortable when I'm around and only say it's untrue because they aren't used to me not being in Nova.

Just to clarify on my reasonings for leaving it is definitely not because I am upset I was told a certain thing nor because I didn't get my way. I am leaving because I feel it would be better for myself as a person as well as the people in chat if I don't come back. Also I dislike being in positions where I'm labeled and told I did something that never happened so consistently. I always hold to my integrity no matter what anybody thinks and am always aware of my actions and am one of the first people to admit/say my actions. I've never had any reason to be hold these kinds of things back since I have nothing to fear.

That's about all I can really say I think. If there's something you're confused about and wish to discuss with me personally you can dm me on discord, request a call, or whatever. Despite all that went down I have nothing against anybody and all is always free to speak to me at anytime. I might post in forums every once in awhile since it's kind of not really the same thing as being in the chatroom and is away from most people and easily ignorable.

Anyways thank you for the experience Novastormchat. Farewell and have a nice life.

by Dragonite1127 Thu Jun 03, 2021 3:54 am

-hugs Char- it's okay char I also left nova cuz they are a bunch of meanieheads D; and now I'm at a server where I can like anime without being bullied and I can talk to lots of people and learn of different experiences, play many games, and watch a variety of streams from time to time : P

now u have no reason to ignore my dms on Discord :-))

i''ve abandoned my identity as Drago and now people know me as Satella (that's worth a lot of kawaii points XD)

I've also been working on a discord bot but I'm lacking in knowledge atm so I'm trying to learn a bit more.

I've been active at this server (there's 1400+ people)

https://discord.gg/52ga3rBcf4

Feel free to join! (no trolling plz)

Also, make sure you do not eat too many sweets, Char.

~~~Bye-bye for now :‑(

My Conclusion Tenor

-hugs Char one final time-

Love Satella

PS I've been playing the re:zero game you've bought me it's pretty fun thank u : D
---

If wishes could be granted, if desires could be fulfilled, then I wouldn't wish or desire for anything after all. The things you're handed on a silver platter are never genuine, and never everlasting. And that is why I'll always keep searching.

I couldn't praise or blame anyone for small lies they tell themselves.

You care about it, you don't want to lose it-- so you hide and play pretend. That's exactly why you're sure to lose it.

And then, once you have, you mourn it. If you'd only known you were going to lose it, then it'd be better not to have had it in the first place, you think. If letting go makes you feel so much regret, you should have given up on it.

In a changing world, some relationships probably have to change, too. And I'm sure some will end up broken so badly they can't be repaired.

That's why everyone lies.
--But I was the biggest liar of all.

by **Mado** Thu Jun 03, 2021 8:52 am

I guess the atmosphere was driving everybody nuts. If you can say that about yourself you can surely understand what kind of effect it had on Tam or anybody else you had some gripes with including me. At the time you were putting up a tough front and saying what's happening wasn't phasing you when you could've said something, I was acting the way I do because I knew the way things were rolling brought the worst out of people in ways they don't wanna acknowledge but it was in vain.

All of that didn't really bother me a whole bunch to be really frank all it boiled down to and what was the last straw was when a few people sent a few months' worth of trash talking about me in the new server. I guess I was a bit irritated about how you voiced your opinion at some points in favor of a certain person

Past forms people's idea of who you are when you're still doing what made them get that idea in the first place, they'll unconsciously think of you differently when you've actually changed and reflected that on your actions beyond declaring that you've changed for everyone, that's why I wasn't able to believe it when a certain person said he's changed, he was still doing with people all that made me frustrated in the first place.

Goodbye, Char and Drago.

by Buz Thu Jun 03, 2021 1:03 pm

I can't believe you've waited all these months in silence to finally tell us you're quitting the discord server. Good for you bro. You're not comfortable there and must leave for your sanity. Actions speak louder than words and we're all shocked that you're finally going to leave wtf.

by charizardf1 Thu Jun 03, 2021 9:32 pm

Mado wrote:I guess the atmosphere was driving everybody nuts. If you can say that about yourself you can surely understand what kind of effect it had on Tam or anybody else you had some gripes with including me. At the time you were putting up a tough front and saying what's happening wasn't phasing you when you could've said something, I was acting the way I do because I knew the way things were rolling brought the worst out of people in ways they don't wanna acknowledge but it was in vain.

I already addressed that things effected everyone plus I've also already have pointed out numerous times how I've also addressed these issues openly in chat and as always I just get the response of "Well it's your fault in the first place lol." The only things that didn't phase me was dramatic events that didn't really concern anything or people expressing some kind of disliking toward me out of personal reasons. As I've always stated I've always held people throwing me under the bus with baseless claims as a serious pet peeve of mine. The only thing I really dislike is people putting me under an image that is nonexistent. To this day I still don't get any real explanations or proof as to why certain people feel a certain way about me and the justifications of why I'm getting treated in this manner specifically even when I repeatedly ask. Nobody confronts me for anything and only speak around me and not with me in order to clear up whatever random problems they have with me.

I've always acknowledged that I have been on a decline but nobody else ever admits things for themselves though and because I'm the only person with the integrity to admit my flaws it seems I'm the only vulnerable individual y'all have to make yourselves feel better for your own troubles.

All of that didn't really bother me a whole bunch to be really frank all it boiled down to and what was the last straw was when a few people sent a few months' worth of trash talking about me in the new server. I guess I was a bit irritated about how you voiced your opinion at some points in favor of a certain person

Of course you wouldn't have an issue with all the other events that transpired because you were the initiator and at the time nothing wrong was done to you at the time. Up until the point of when y'all saw what was being said in Luna you had zero issue at all. Do you remember what all transpired to get to that point though? You think that only happened out of the blue and you received some random top anime betrayals kind of moment? Literally everything started because of you and certain others came at me when all i was trying to do was tell yall to chill out but instead you decided to label, insult, belittle, and assume my intentions.

Y'all continue to badmouth and talk of me harshly through all my attempts to discuss things peacefully. You continue to only stick to the only real offence you have over me and exaggerate it making it seem like that sole issue was the only part of the problem. You telling the chat that there was months worth of trash talking when that only transpired for about just a week. Literally Luna was created like around the beginning of January and things started to pop off in Febuary. You cry and put this so heavily on my head over some comments but that doesn't compare to what you and whoever else was behind you speak of me for much longer than that. I never even insulted you. In fact I even defended you on a lot of things as well. I also defended Mitch, Rowlie, and Shaun. It really just feels like you collectively just grouped all of what was said in that channel and just automatically just came to the conclusion that I agreed with every single thing. I only spoke negatively toward certain people and not everybody. This is why I am also puzzled why some others view me so harshly. It's funny how I spoke highly of Rowlie and said that he wasn't even that bad until I saw the real ugly side of his nature.

Past forms people's idea of who you are when you're still doing what made them get that idea in the first place, they'll unconsciously think of you differently when you've actually changed and reflected that on your actions beyond declaring that you've changed for everyone, that's why I wasn't able to believe it when a certain person said he's changed, he was still doing with people all that made me frustrated in the first place.

Goodbye, Char and Drago.

I don't know how this relates with anything at all that I posted. I'm not trying to change for y'all at all that isn't even nowhere close to anything I said in terms of moving forward. I don't care if you believe I've changed or not and that isn't even the focus of this post.

Overall though I'm not sure why I should even be surprised at this point. It's already been clear as day that y'all's goal is just to continue to demonize me no matter what I say even though through that whole process I did barely anything to people in the first place. Y'all keep saying how the problem people have exited the chat but from my point of view the community you've governed keeps contained the very people who will only continue to target and drive people away. This has been a process that is not even foreign to Nova and I even used to be a part of that. Until those people wake up and realize the faults of their nature and why it is Nova in particular continues to keep having these moments only to find somebody to blame rather than truly try to resolve an issue then you'll keep seeing the same thing happen time and time again.

I know I said I wouldn't argue or whatever but I had to give this response. I originally didn't want to but I was irritated how nobody continued to give Drago respect even though he fought for y'all and stayed loyal. From viewing the current roster and seeing how everything is being concluded I can say that the majority of y'all are no real friends.

If there's something you're confused about and wish to discuss with me personally you can dm me on discord, request a call, or whatever.

This will actually be my last forum post this time so after this point nobody will have to concern themselves with me anymore. I hope you all continue to enjoy your community. Goodbye.

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