Conclusive post to this drama for everyone's sake:

This has been a topic of discussion for way too long & for the sake of those who don't care & just want to log on to Nova & play games with their friends just like I'm positive everyone (including myself) does, this post will make very clear the timeline of events. If you are reading this post with the intent of arguing with me over the validity of these statements, this is the wrong post to be reading & you should probably stop reading here.

This is something that should've been some time ago, but hasn't been done because I argue so often with the hopes of persuading my friends who think I came about it wrong that this is truly something I believe had to be done.

In the tail end of 2017, the user "furtivecuddles" joined our chatroom to talk about the various things we do with all of the enthusiasm we do. Naturally, he was a fit & liked by others; myself included. Disclosed to nobody but myself during the time of these events, I was 17 years old at the this time & Fur was 24 years. Let's be clear that he is NOT a malicious person & this is NOT a post to paint an image of him that he was hiding some kind of monstrous tendencies you all were unaware of. Frankly, I'm positive many of you were aware of what was going on & it was simply just what was acceptable in your mind that you still accept to this day for one reason or another.

For the rest of this post I will refer to him as "Fur" for simplicity. In just the very first month of having met Fur, he spoke quite flamboyantly to me & entertained dialogues that led to an alley of sexual nature one way or another. This became normal for a couple of months & even more so when I would take hiatus & use discord while distributing my time to other things outside of Novastorm.

By the very nature of my situation, I cannot furnish screenshots of our conversations since all of the discord accounts I used to speak to Fur are long since deleted some 2 years later. In my absence from Nova, I would use Discord to speak to Fur personally where we would share many things daily. Disproportionately, they were of a sexual nature. This became so normal it was monotonous to me, & eventually I told him that I wanted to talk about things we never talk about like his personal life or past; or interests he partakes in. Over the entire year of 2018, he very sparsely disclosed this kind of information, but insisted I share more extreme sexual things with him.

When I would tell Fur that I was tired of talking about sex, his perception of it was that I didn't like him anymore & that what we had was over. This was intensified on the nights where he would go out like he did twice or three times on a weekly basis to drink with his personal friends. Our relationship became based on how willing I was to indulge in his sexual tensions & how patient I was in dealing with his drunk berates of my private messages.

One of my earliest memories is in January of 2018, a conversation we had leading to him fantasizing of us walking along Fremonte Street in Las Vegas holding hands. Las Vegas was where I lived at the time & on at least two occasions he had actually visited the town, so it really is haunting in hindsight to think it was possible that this talk online could've led to meeting him in-person & engaging in what regrettable ideas he had in mind for the two of us. This meeting up was made realistic by the bus routes I would take leaving campus of the academy I attended during the time. Suncoast, Red Rock Casino, & various motels exist where rooms can be rented easily & things like this can take place.

In June of that year, I got my very first job as a lifeguard. During these times, I would work 9 hour shifts a day where of course my attention is required of me & as a result I couldn't open my phone to message Fur. I would get home & find that I have sometimes up to 10 messages all deleted. I'd ask him what he sent & he'd say that it was nothing or he doesn't expect me to care about it. Naturally this became a point of contention between us in my effort to understand why he believes I don't care & his firm assurance that I don't despite my circumstances. This was NEVER resolved between the two of us; and the ONLY time he was reassured that I care about him was when I would entertain his long sexually charged conversations just sharing explicit images & talk with him.

Many of you have already said I "agreed" to this, but it wasn't my idea to talk about it as much as we did or hardly even at all. The fact of the matter was that I was someone whose life had not even started yet under the impression that I had something going somewhere with this someone so naively. What I realize now about this situation was not something I could've concluded when my life was as important as my algebra homework & what naughty images I could find on the internet.

He would ask me what kind of sexual things I do to myself & ask for pictures of them, he would share porn with me & even though I was okay with it at the time, I never realized how unacceptable it was for an adult to do that until I became one myself. For some time after the year of 2019 started, I held a good deal of animosity towards Fur for the fact that the tail end of my teenage years I was alienated by these crude & tasteless remarks/interactions. Many of you recall me calling him "Apple" as an affectionate term.

This affectionate nature disappeared very quickly when I became disgusted even stomaching sexual remarks from him or anybody at that. I stopped talking to him on a one-on-one basis in the latter half of 2019. When I got my third job in December of 2019, I moved away from home & the complacency of our environment in Novastorm mixed with the resentment I had for Fur manifested itself into me confiding in Hmado (our admin) about what happened. I messaged him on Discord explaining that I don't want to be around; explaining why since when I do leave I don't normally give a reason, & this makes him believe I don't care about him or my friends in Novastorm.

If I had the support of my peers in asserting that what happened wasn't okay, then I would've stayed for the months that followed, but Mado's response was not one of support; it was disappointment in me for reasons I don't fully understand. This upset me & I just... took the time out of respect for myself at that point. Mado is a friend of mine I believe in very much & to hear "we all make mistakes" when he's educated about the history of Fur & myself really just did not belong. These two months following that conversation, I ruminated quite a bit over how badly I wanted to have a normal healthy chat daily with my Novastorm friends until I decided that it's unfair that I have to be silent about what's happened for the sake of Nova's environmental complacency. This should be something everybody knows & not something I have to internalize for the rest of my life.

There is your summarized timeline of events. Please -- if you must argue do it on replies to this post or not at all. People in Nova deserve to talk about things that aren't drama related to myself or Tam. Earlier I said that our mods enable this drama to happen & I stand by that. This is not something I can talk about privately with anybody directly involved for the fact that it fizzles into the goalpost constantly moving & me losing my temper or them stopping at "I don't care". If you don't care, that's fine. If you do care & you argue with me about this, you need to read this post & have an understanding of the situation & the timeline.

Here is a website with information to better help understand what grooming is: https://www.nspcc.org.uk/what-is-child-abuse/types-of-abuse/grooming/

If you've read this much, thank you.

So here's what i don't rly understand. You are pointing him out for grooming but you say he's not a bad person at the same time. What is the real point in this? It feels like two different things canceling each other out. To bring attention to how an adult shouldn't do this at all to somebody under 18?

charizardf1 wrote:So here's what i don't rly understand. You are pointing him out for grooming but you say he's not a bad person at the same time. What is the real point in this? It feels like two different things canceling each other out. To bring attention to how an adult shouldn't do this at all to somebody under 18?

The point is to give a timeline of these events & disclose my full summary of what happened so we never have to argue over this again in the place where everybody should be at peace. Obviously it's unacceptable for adults to be doing things like this with people under 18 but this was more geared to put an end to this cycle of arguing over what happened.

People can have their opinions on what happened but I said what I said to relieve myself of the silence in carrying this with me my entire life knowing how wrong it was.

I feel like instead of bringing names up publicly you should've instead just anonymously stated your problem and addressed it privately with "Fur". You bringing this problem up to outsiders in the first place was a big mistake that you should have foreseen would fall into a domino of more conflicts. This was a problem between the both of you personally. Nobody else will truly know nor understand what really went down therefore of course it would instead of make things better, it would make things worse not only for you but to those also effected by it. 

People are taking how you came out and addressed this in many different ways and view you negatively for it(which can be understandable in a sense). Not only to mention how convenient it is for you to let these feelings out during the trend of people canceling random people out of the blue just for clout on the internet. I feel like you probably just don't understand how you approached this was kinda the worse way to do it, especially since it makes people more so feel like you are trying to paint "Fur" as a predator. From my current understanding at least it just seems like you want to address a particular issue.

I personally do feel like you have messed up in this exchange a lot but I really don't think you are bad at all, you're just not really great at addressing things properly which I've always felt was a weak point of yours. Over the years at first I would see you as some horrible human being because of the ridiculous views and things you would say but the more I pay attention to you and actually come to a better understanding of you more and more as a person I realize further how wrong i was to view u as such. 

You're not a bad person it's just your approaches to situations is just really abysmal and that's something you should really work on in this. You must realize even though what happened to you was really traumatic, this was a situation that was really serious and even though you don't really mean harm to "Fur". That public announcement is something that changes everything and added a lot more weight in novastormchat. Now for as long as people hold it in, people are going to hold this situation against you with their own opinion of what they think your intent was and "Fur" himself probably feels embarrassed and shamed in front of a community he probably was feeling at home with. This is why i understand the anger of some people, because it didn't need to go down this way. It ended up hurting people in the end instead of a real satisfying resolution. 

For future reference prioritize and think what a true, peaceful, and nonharmful course of action to take when expressing a personal conflict you have within yourself. Especially don't rely on somebody else on the outside to understand your situation and be able to help because you will more than likely just end up disappointed in the end. Your problem is your own and from reading your post I'm pretty sure you already realized that.